Category: Life


Hypophrenia: A vague feeling of sadness, seemingly without cause.

Have you ever been doing something completely normal, and then a wave of sadness hits you out of nowhere? You don’t know why, but you feel so sad and depressed all of a sudden. You think talking to people will help, but it doesn’t, not really. You try to talk to a few people, but as soon as you start talking to them, you realize that you don’t really want to. You realize that you don’t actually care about anything.

There’s this gloomy cloud hanging over your head, and the sunshine seems so far away. You lose interest in everything, even the things you used to love doing so much. You feel like sleeping all the time, you feel so tired. You lie down and close your eyes, thinking you can just sleep it off, but sleep chooses that moment to play hide-and-seek with you. Its SO close, but still not close enough. Sleep is just out of reach. And your brain chooses that moment to replay every memory of you getting hurt. And, before you know it, you’re crying and you don’t even know why it all began.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

P.S. Sorry I’ve been MIA.

Emotions, emotions.

To all my friends, who would drop everything and come running if I was sad. You know who you are.

Hello, my dear dear friends.

This letter is not going to be sappy and emotional. Okay, it totally is going to be. I’ll try to tone down the sappiness though, we all know I’m not good at that. *chuckles*

I’ve been feeling emotional for some reason, and I was going around telling everyone how much I love them, which, lets face it, I never do. So, I thought, why not make it into a post for the whole world to know? Let them know how lucky I am?

I have no idea how to even begin putting into words how you guys make me feel. You have been there for me when I needed it the most, through all the important and the not-so-important things. You listen to me babble about random stuff, and sit there with that smile playing on your lips. That’s not even the best part. The best part is that you actually care about all those random things I have to say. And, about my crazy theories. *chuckles*

And, when I’m feeling paranoid about something and start overreacting as usual *insert eye roll*, you let me call you up and listen patiently while I list out the reasons why I think I’m justified in being paranoid, and you never once try to offer advice or interrupt me, because you know all I want is for you to listen. I can think out loud in front of you.

You never once tell me I’m being silly, or that I’m overreacting. Wait a minute, you do. Haha! What’s more, you never judge me, and you always understand. I can’t even begin to thank you guys for that. Talking to you guys always, ALWAYS makes me feel better. I can be super weird with you, and not have you running away. Most importantly, I can be completely MYSELF with you.

You guys are all the therapy I need. All those times when you guys make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. And all those pep-talks you give me whenever I need it. You are the ONLY ones who can tell me bluntly that I need to cut the crap, and get away with it. Sometimes, the truth hurts, and you never fail to tell me that, even when others would comfort me with lies. And, I love you for it.

God, I love you guys. So freaking much. Even though I don’t say it much, I hope you know that I do. Also, I can’t imagine life without you. It would be dark and gloomy. To be quite honest, it wouldn’t be much of a life. You colour my world, in the most beautiful way possible. You guys are my family.

If this post has been dedicated to you, know that you are loved. Unconditionally. And, you better comment on this post. Each one of you. *stares you down* (No sappy stuff, please. I would prefer it if you stick to those affectionately rude comments.) Or I will kick your ass. I mean it. *stern expression* I can see you rolling your eyes and saying, “no you won’t”. *sigh*

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

P.S. This post is for my real life friends. I will dedicate one for you all lovely readers later. 🙂

What is love?

To Pranay Oscar Lakra, again. Why? Because I can. Also, because sometimes love is simply a best friend being there for you.

Love is finding someone who loves all your broken pieces.

Love is finding someone who doesn’t want to tame your demons, but wants to dance with them.

Love is understanding them, and not judging them at times when everyone else would.

Love is loving them even when you hate them.

Love is giving up your last slice of chocolate cake, even though you love cake.

Love is finding someone who knows the complete version of the real you, the version you keep hidden from everybody else, and they love you for it.

Love is finding someone you never have to be anybody but yourself with.

Love is arguing with them with all you’ve got without the fear of losing them hanging over your head.

Love is when their mood can easily affect yours.

Love is taking care of them when they are too old to take care of themselves.

Love is sitting on your porch swing when you’re old and wrinkled, and watching your grandkids play.

Love is not letting them go to bed sad.

Love is making their favourite food when they’re mad at you, even though you suck at cooking.

Love is wanting to kill them, but not doing so because you would miss them.

Love is telling them the truth, even if it’s going to hurt.

Love is getting up off the dinner table and suddenly twirling her around, and watching the happiness flash across her face.

Love is when you can think out loud in front of them.

Love is finding someone who would just.. Stay.

Love is home.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

Who am I?

I’m the little boy, standing at the edge of a cliff

Screaming at the top of his lungs in ecstasy.

I’m the old man, sitting near the window

Waiting for someone to wave at him.

I’m the puppy that wags its tail, and licks your hand

Following you home.

I’m the florist, delivering flowers

Spreading smiles on everyone’s faces.

I’m the girl, sitting there all by herself

With a book in her hand, and a smile on her face.

I’m the sun that sets, bathing everyone

In it’s orange glow, as they look up in awe.

I’m the moon, that comes peeking out at night

And disappears at the light of dawn.

I’m the stars that shine, only in the darkness

In the velvety night sky.

I’m the book you love, the one

You read over and over again.

I’m the creases in the corners of your eyes,

I’m the wrinkles on your skin.

I’m the dust that settles in your shelves,

The dimples on your cheek.

I’m the rain on a sunny day, and

The rainbow that comes after it.

I’m the wide grin on a child’s face, and

I’m the feeling of falling in love.

I’m the bird, that soars high in the sky

As high as I can go.

I’m the sunshine, and the dark sky.

I’m life, and death, and everything in between.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

The walls around me.

I built walls so high,

No one could climb it.

Waiting for someone,

Who cared enough to try.

A few tried,

But gave up after a while.

Guess they were too tired,

To climb so high.

And then you came along,

With a smile and a song.

Singing about how,

You wanted to break my walls down.

I watched you take a hammer to my walls,

From behind a closed window.

Waiting for you to give up,

Like so many others before.

I watched you work for days,

And weeks, and months.

Never giving up,

Never tiring.

Finally, I opened a window,

And you climbed inside.

And together we broke the walls,

That I had built so high.

You sang a song,

And I finally sung along.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

Love me.

Love me,

And I’ll let you win at scrabble.

Put down the book I’m reading,

Just to smile at you.

Pretend to be asleep,

Just to let you watch me a little more.

Go to the beach during sun set,

And watch you instead.

Love me,

And I’ll write poems for you

Letting my words make love to you.

We can make forts,

And fall asleep inside them.

Bake cookies in the kitchen,

And end up having food fights instead

We can go on road trips,

And get lost on the way.

I’ll let you pick the songs

When we drive.

And you can stay up all night,

Listening to me whine.

We can spend Saturdays,

Watching bad TV at home.

Steal kisses on the road,

When no one’s looking.

Love me,

And I’ll give you my soul

And then some.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

When I see you…

And, when I see you, maybe five years from now, I would show you my engagement ring, and tell you that I met a great guy who treats me really well. I would tell you, that he makes me laugh. He doesn’t treat me like I’m fragile, because he knows I’m not. He doesn’t try to save me, he knows that I would destroy anything and anyone that dare ever mess with me. He knows I’m a dragon who spews fire from her mouth, and he loves me anyway. He loves me for my sharp mind, and my even sharper mouth. He makes me go absolutely crazy. There’s not a dull moment in my life with him. He loves arguing with me, for he knows how much I love it. He never lets me win, he always argues with all he’s got, which is just the way I like it. Whenever he introduces me to someone, the first thing he says is, “this chick is crazy and I love her.” Then, he looks at me like I’m the sun to his sky.

I would tell you, that his smile is like my very favourite love song. When it’s 2AM, and I can’t sleep because I’m still hungover on that book I just read, he comes and sits with me in the living room, then falls asleep on the couch because he was too sleepy to stay awake any longer. I would be cooking in the kitchen, and he would pull me to him, and start dancing like a crazy person. When we go for long drives in the evening, he pulls off just to kiss me. He looks at me like I put all the stars in the sky when he thinks I’m not looking. He sits there and listens to me cry over fictional characters like it’s something sane people do every day. He tells me I’m crazy, but that he loves me for it. He loves me, like you never did.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore

A post without periods.

One of the worst feelings about losing someone you used to be close to, is when you talk to them again, and they don’t even make an effort to keep the conversation going, and you feel like you’re talking to yourself, and you realize how much things have changed, and how much about them you don’t know, and you don’t even know what questions to ask because you just don’t know what’s going on in their life, and the best thing you can come up with are empty conversation fillers like “what’s up”, and you can’t even ask them about their life because you don’t know if you still have the right to ask them that, so you settle for the little things that they do tell you, and you make your own theories, and you convince yourself that you shouldn’t worry about their life because they clearly aren’t worried about yours, but you’re screaming inside because you want to tell them how much you miss them, and you want to ask them if they miss you, and whether it hurts them too that you have drifted apart, and you sit there listing all the reasons you think they won’t miss you, but some part of you is hoping that some part of them misses you, and it finally hits you that they don’t really care, and maybe its better to let things go and make a clean break rather than hanging on by a thread because its just too painful.

And, if you have reached the end of that sentence, you have my massive respect.

-The Girl Lost In The Bookstore